Woolies talks of a basket to trolley move, where you can get everything in a one-stop shop. As well as bread and apples and stuff, I needed to pop out buy a replacement light bulb for my bathroom, as shaving in the dark can be as bit risky. None at Woolies. I asked why not?   “They are discontinued.”   Surely this flies in the face of all the management bullshit of caring about the customer? The outcome was that I had to do a two-stop shop. Now I know a Spar outlet in Monument Park where they have a suggestion book, and if there is something they don‘t stock, the customer can point this out, and they will see what can be done. Having bought back their franchise stores, I think that Woolworths has become irritatingly arrogant.   It is almost enough to force me back to those unsmiling till ladies at Pick n Pay.   Oh, and a final footnote. I bought an energy-saving lightbulb. But it is too long and I can’t get the cover back on the light fitting.   Clearly my new bulb is brighter than I am.

Chris Gilmour from Absa had this to say:

Former CEO Simon Susman initiated Woolies’ move into branded products (products outside of the traditional Woolies brand items) about a decade ago. It has proven to be remarkably successful in persuading Woolies’ customers to do the great bulk of their shopping- not just for food but for all sorts of general merchandise as well – at Woolies stores, and thus not go to competitor outlets for their more mundane requirements. I guess light bulbs happen to be one of those relatively slow-moving items that tend not to be stocked in Woolies, due to the nature of the product. In other words, Woolies probably reckons that if they stock 80% of what customers want/need, they will be OK. This is in terms of the old Pareto or 80:20 rule.

Conclusion

If I am in a hurry and want a one-stop shop, Woolworths will no longer be my first choice.

Tweets of the Day

Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers): The best part about your friend’s girlfriend being pregnant… Not having to wear a condom anymore…

Paul Rabenowitz (@paulrabenowitz): Is a scientist at coke called a fizzycist?

Rude Goldberg (@redherringbear): If you believe you can pass a drug test by drinking large amounts of water, you’re just diluting yourself.

ZA Confidential is a subscription newsletter.   For subscription details, invitations to media events for grown ups, or any other communication, please contact:   zaconfidential@gmail.com     Follow us on twitter: @zaconfidential

ZA Confidential attended the latest Eskom media briefing by CEO Tshediso Matona, to see how the utility is planning to deal with the continuing power crisis in ZA.  The message is a depressing one. Power cuts are going to be a way of life in the coming days,  Matona himself lacks confidence, and the message is crystal clear that the politicians – ANC ones and not apartheid ones – are to blame for the current stuff up.  A few of the high (low) lights……

Eskom is likely to need to load-Tshed on most days in the near future.

Maintenance, or lack of it, is the key to the problem. The CEO said maintenance is like a religion for the company, but Eskom has not stayed faithful to that maintenance religion for a long time, and the unreliability of equipment is the price it is paying.  It is embarrassed by this.  Shame.  No wonder a certain Eskom boss is called The Prince of Darkness.

Eskom has kept the lights on in recent years by deferring maintenance and using diesel.  This was clearly against the advice of its senior management which appears to have been too cowardly or too in love with their fat salaries to say no when the politicians ordered reckless practices.  The World Cup period was a classic instance, when our country’s leaders seem to have been more interested in fun football than in reliable power supply in the future.   We are all now being bitten in the balls as a result.

It is only by burning expensive diesel that the problem is being prevented from becoming much worse, and the message from Eskom bosses today was that there isn’t the cash to pay for that diesel, with a R3bn bailout already being needed.

Eskom is in an appalling financial mess and this will only be eased with more bail outs from the taxpayer or price hikes for the consumer – or both.

Matona was challenged over President Zuma’s insistence that Eskom’s problems can be blamed on apartheid.  He failed to give any meaningful worthwhile answer to this, and took several minutes of waffle to not respond meaningfully.

There will be more delays in bringing new capacity on line.

Conclusion

Eskom is mumbling, stumbling and bumbling along. Journalists arrived for the briefing, and there were lots of cups, but no tea or coffee. However, there was a man putting a teaspoon on every unused cup and saucer as self-important Eskom types paced around.   Then the event kicked off 15 minutes late. Apparently the Deputy President had been in the building and his hosts were too deferentuial to kick him out so they could start briefing the media when they had said they would.

Tweets of the Day

Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow): Why did the raisin go out with the prune? It couldn’t get a date. #ClassicJokeFriday

The Dowager Countess (@theLadyGrantham):   There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test. #DowntonPBS

PUNS (@omgthatspunny): Velcro, what a rip-off

Male Thoughts (@SteveStfler): I wrote a song about a tortilla; actually it’s more of a wrap

——

In response to the growing support for the Die Vine Intervention wine tasting podcasts I conduct with the legendary Michael Olivier, ZA Confidential is expanding its coverage to include more writing about food, wine and lifestyle issues.    We will continue to comment on business, but will do less day-to-day writing on routine matters, concentrating on the big stuff.

ZA Confidential is a subscription newsletter.   For subscription details, invitations to us for grown-up events, or any other communication, please contact:   zaconfidential@gmail.com     Follow us on twitter: @zaconfidential

The four most depressing words I have heard, more and more frequently, recently are: “Sorry. Soft Drinks Only.”

They are said by barmen at analyst presentations and other events which I attend in my super-sleuth capacity as a roving reporter preparing raving reports.

In contrast, the most glorious sound in the world has greeted me at a few recent media events involving the launch of new booze products. This is the seven word celebration: “What Can We Get You to Drink?”

Now, I have worked for a mining company and fully understand and support the logic that if you – rightly – ban alcohol from your mines, or factories or smelters, you should follow this through to the corporate offices.  I remember a lunch with Sasol, when I was delighted to hear the welcoming mantra: “What Can We Get You to Drink?” My spirits sank when I realised the lack of spirits, or wine or beer on offer…. There was grape juice or Coke. But I understood the policy.

However, I would argue that when mining, construction, manufacturing and indeed all other firms hold functions ELSEWHERE, they should show some adult hospitality and offer a few real drinks to real men (and women).

On those infrequent occasions when I am offered a glass of something pleasing, it often comes as a compensation for the frequently dire food which is dished up. I just don’t understand how so many expensive Johannesburg hotels (in particular) can be so poor at providing tasty and well-presented grub.   There are exceptions, which only serve to highlight the dire fare at most events.

So, how can and should the hosts do better?   Apart from restricting the section of analyst presentations given over to the CFO to 30 seconds or less, a little bit of imagination and graciousness would make such a difference, and at little or no extra cost.   If you are buying food for 100, along with Coke, apple juice, bottled water and other over-priced extravagances, procuring a few bottles of wine and beer would be a tiny extra burden.   A fraction of the annual bonus of the CEO, I would venture?

So who is responsible for the trend towards Scrooge-like behaviour among the big corporates? Internal or external communications and investor relations types, who want their own miserable existence to spread like Ebola to all with whom they interact? Company bosses whose own lifestyles would make the (historic) activities at the Playboy mansion, or the weekend orgies at Nero’s place, seem like a Sunday School picnic?   But the aim of these types is to project soberness, godliness and an upright image, hoping they are seen as the sort of people who would never indulge in insider trading, the fiddling of accounts, nepotism, collusion, or the bribing of public officials. Which, of course, never happens in corporate SA.

I just don’t buy this hypocrisy – although I did buy a hip flask, which enables me to slip a slug or 10 of gin into an orange juice on those increasingly-frequent occasions when the host is highly inhospitable.

So how should it be done?  Well, I have attended a results presentation of a big property company where guests were greeted by a tray of (adult) drinks. Whenever an Investec or Barloworld, Shopright or AECI, function has been held, there has been real hospitality. One of the smaller listed firms hosts the media for lunch at a celebrated Rosebank steakhouse, and a good time is had by all.

But the events which have outshone all the corporate ones have been staged by people who know how to entertain.   Thanks to my involvement in the broadcasting of boozy podcasts with my chum and mentor Michael Olivier, I have attended several remarkable events in recent months.   Nedbank hoisted the Cape Winemakers’ Guild tasting, which was superb. I went to an excellent lunch for the launch of the latest High Road Wines’ vintages, and have attended launch events for a KWV range, Appleton Rum, and Black Bottle and Scottish Leader whiskies.   I was also hosted twice by the Sandton Convention Centre, the second occasion for an impressive craft beer evening. In the (distant) past I also attended some excellent Winex wine-week events at RMB, the first of which enabled me to first encounter Warwick’s wonderful boss Mike Ratcliffe.

I am not saying that companies and others who host the media and analysts have to splash-out in quite the same manner. But you need to just look at the sad huddles of sad people who pour out of a dull event to find the only thing being poured is Coke or fruit juice. Maybe the hosts are well-aware that something sweet needs to be offered remove the sour taste from the mouths of their guests?

So come on, you bunch of party poopers!   Replace the poop food with something worthwhile, and don’t refuse the booze.

See? There’s a New Year’s resolution which will truly make the world a better place.

Tweets of the Day:

David O’Doherty (@phlaimeaux): What singer is the best for organising visas and consular affairs? SHIRLEY EMBASSY

J A E (@jaymeisterrr):   Madonna was recently named the face of Versace’s Spring/Summer 2015 collection, which is impressive for an 87 year old.

Conclusion:

Only the soft-brained only serve soft drinks.

 

In response to the growing support for the Die Vine Intervention wine tasting podcasts I conduct with the legendary Michael Olivier, ZA Confidential is expanding its coverage to include more writing about food, wine and lifestyle issues.

We will continue to commentate on business, but will do less day-to-day writing on routine matters, concentrating on the big stuff.

ZA Confidential is a subscription newsletter.   For subscription details, invitations to grown-up events, or any other communication, please contact:   zaconfidential@gmail.com     Follow us on twitter: @zaconfidential

In response to the growing support for the Die Vine Intervention wine tasting podcasts I conduct with the legendary Michael Olivier, ZA Confidential is expanding its coverage to include more writing about food, wine and lifestyle issues.

We will continue to comment on business matters, but will do less day-to-day writing on routine events, concentrating on the big stuff.

In the spirit of this new approach, here are a few reflections on a recent gastronomic meander in the Cape….

SAA

I flew to the Cape and back with SAA, as I had some Voyager miles to redeem.   I have no complaints about the flights as such, but am sure that the airport taxes I was charged on top of my redeemed miles – in the order of R1 500 – could in themselves have funded a return flight on a cheaper airline. The sooner someone investigates this loyalty scheme, the better.

BMW

My mates at BMW lent me a sporty set of wheels for the trip, and I could not believe the power of the car. I was able to effortlessly overtake and had to control myself to drive safely. I also received a number of admiring glances, which is something that rarely happens in my own battered vehicle. On returning home, I had become so used to the power of the BMW that I genuinely thought the hand brake was still on when I set off in my own car.

Uber

In an effort to enjoy drinking without the risk of driving, I used the phone app Uber for the first time, and found it efficient, and far more affordable than I believe many traditional taxi services are.

Warwick Wine Estate

I had a couple of memorable drinks on the terrace at Warwick, sitting under the trees. One day I just worked on my own while sipping their Platter 5* Cabernet Franc. I later had a session with my chum David Bullard, cheekily ordering a bottle of Black Lady for us.   Warwick offers classy picnics, but I favoured the lighter tapas-style menu of cold cuts and other nibbles. Absolutely delicious, even though a sour note was hit when I asked if I could order some tapas and received a sneering response: “We don’t serve tapas.” The rest of the staff in the tasting room were excellent, attentive, knowledgeable and delightful. I also managed to catch up with Warwick owner Mike Ratcliffe who is one of the most absorbing and eloquent ambassadors for Cape Wine.   If you have time for only one visit to a Cape wine estate, I would urge you to head for Warwick.

 

Pendock Wine Gallery

Wander into the CT Taj hotel and you will find somewhere which offers tastings of some of the lesser known wines, but that is no bad thing.   Neil Pendock is well known for his outspoken wine writing, which I appreciate in an environment where far too many food and wine writers have no objectivity, little knowledge, and are happy to recommend the awful. In return for? I wish I knew! I tasted some delicious and impressive wines, with a great welcome from Neil’s team.   They also hold a number of special events.  If only every hotel in SA showed the same commitment to promoting our wines!

The Taj

I stayed in the CT Taj, and really enjoyed my stay, during which I was hosted by the hotel for one of my nights and given dinnner.   It is comfortable and elegant, has excellent valet parking and very good breakfasts, which include some authentic Indian breakfast offerings for those who may find bacon and egg a bit dull.  The only black mark came when a room service order was messed up, a sin compounded by the awful cheese platter with plastic and tasteless cheeses.   I did raise this with the management and hope it will be sorted.   The hotel has an enjoyable Indian restaurant, where I ate twice in the evening, really appreciating the food and the service.   Not cheap, but a distinct improvement on one of the neighbouring Indian restaurants which is in slow decline.

Reuben’s

The Franchhoek outlet of celebrity chef Reuben Riffel is a firm favourite of mine, and I ate there several times on my recent trip, enjoying both lunch and dinner.   I am concerned that Reuben is stretching himself too thinly with several restaurants and frequent travel and TV work, but I remained impressed with his original outlet.   My only upset came with a starter on my final visit – of a tempura scallop and prawn dish, which had become my new favourite, as it is the best starter I have ever eaten in SA. On this one occasion, though, the prawns were overcooked and spoilt the dish, but to the restaurant’s credit I was not charged for it.   I was also suspicious when one of the wine specials, being served by the glass, tasted nothing like the identical wine I had enjoyed on previous visits.   I hope this was a mix-up and nothing more sinister. As always the welcome was warm, and the service professional and efficient.

Food Barn

Chef Franck Dangereux’ Foodbarn was a delight, made more so by the company of M. and Mme. Olivier.   I ate the best lamb I have tried this century, had some superb wine thanks to Michael’s unique expertise, and delighted in a venue which is as impressive as it is unpretentious.   This was my first time there, although I have tasted Franck’s magic in the past, and I will certainly be back.

The Black Sheep

I first visited the Black Sheep in February and really enjoyed a first class meal. Really superb. This return visit was not quite as good, as a few of us ordered steaks which were not well cooked. This was soon forgotten, however, when the cheese platter arrived.   Quite simply, this was a knockout selection of ravishing cheeses – all local. Why on earth do so many other establishments serve up plastic shit when this quality of food can be sourced, albeit with a bit of trouble? Maybe they just don’t care as much as the team at the Black Sheep?

Den Anker

Having escaped Belgium after serving an 18 year sentence, I have always avoided Den Anker at the Waterfront, worried it would just be a tourist trap for wandering Belgians.  More fool me.   It was a hot lunchtime when I went, and we sat indoors, eating surprisingly good food and downing cool, refreshing Belgian beers. Those diners who chose to sit outside were turning red as I watched them, and I would certainly return in the evening if I wished to eat outside, or would sit indoors again on a warm day. But boy, what a pleasant surprise to find a popular restaurant in that location that is so much more than a tourist trap! Some very good Belgian dishes in a magical setting.

Fairview

I remember visiting Fairview before it became so commercial, when I was the only one in the tasting room.   These days the masses arrive by the coachload.   However, I still enjoy lunches in the Goatshed restaurant there, with a superb selection of the farm’s wines, which can be ordered by the bottle or glass, brilliant bread and cheese, and an array of other delights. The salmon gravalax was inspiring, the coffee excellent, so this is far more than just a wine and cheese hangout. I rarely travel home with wine, except on those foolish occasions when I drive to and from the Cape, but I always pick up a few bottles of Fairview Olive Oil. And I remain impressed by the range and quality of their wine.  I would just stay away at the height of the tourist season, when the crowds can overwhelm.

Conclusion:

So. That is a rather personal summary of a delightful fortnight break in the Cape. I won’t dwell on the seafront walks, the delights of strolling through Franschhoek and Stellenbosch, the majestic drives through the Winelands.   But I will guess how much a gastronomic meander of the same top quality would have cost me in London, Sydney or NY. A hell of a lot more.

ZA Confidential is a subscription newsletter.   For subscription details or any other communication, please contact:   zaconfidential@gmail.com     Follow us on twitter: @zaconfidential

On the back of yesterday’s 1.4% number for ZA’s third quarter GDP growth, ZA Confidential approached a cluster of our top economists to get their views on the outlook for the rest of this year, and for next. The numbers make depressing reading.   We need growth of 5% to 6% a year to make at least some dent in the current horrible unemployment problem – which Investment Solutions has identified as South Africa’s new National Scar. No one in our team of 14 top economists believes we will come close to this in 2014 or 2015.   And if Eskom continues to apply the brakes to the economy, we will have a very rocky – and a rather dark – ride. For 2014, estimates for GDP growth for the full year range from 1% to 1.6% – a feeble performance.   For next year, a slight lift is expected, with our economists predicting annual growth for 2015 to range between 1.4 and 2.6%, once again a poor show.

Expert                                                                 2014 GDP (%)         2015 GDP (%)

Dawie Roodt of the Efficient Group                  1.3                        1.6

Azar Jammine of Econometrix                           1.4                        2.5

Ian Cruickshanks of the SAIRR                          1.25                       1.5

Prof Raymond Parsons of NW University        1.5                         2.5

Iraj Abedian of Pan African                                1.2                         1.4

Dennis Dykes of Nedbank                                 1.4                         2.5

Ettienne le Roux of RMB                                    1.3                         2.4

Sizwe Nxedlana of FNB                                      1.5                         2.3

Annabel Bishop of Investec                               1.5                         2.5

Craig Pheiffer of Absa                                        1.4                         2.6

Professor Eltie Links                                            1.4                         1.9

Luke Doig of Credit Guarantee                          1.3                         2.0

Peter Attard Montalto of Nomura                     1.6                         2.5

Mike Schussler……………………………….1.0………………….. 2.2

Conclusion:

This economy is limping along, and without a few economic miracles the misery of low growth and high unemployment will continue to plague us.

Tweets of the Day:

Funny Tweets (@Funny_TweetsQ):   People who say ‘age is just a number’ are stupid. Age is clearly a word.

ZA Confidential is a subscription newsletter.   For subscription details or any other communication, please contact:   zaconfidential@gmail.com     Follow us on twitter: @zaconfidential

Operating on the fringes of the SA wine industry, through the Die Vine Intervention wine tasting podcasts which I record with living legend Michael Olivier, I am always happy to be invited to a wine tasting, and looked forward to the recent Nedbank Green Wine Awards evening in Johannesburg.

I am not sure whether this was a consolation prize from Nedbank for having (once again) forgotten to invite ZA Confidential to their annual media bash, but along with one of ZA Confidential Associates, I went along to the evening event. Even though it cut down on the time available to spend around the corner at the FNB Whisky Festival – to which we had received several invitations and free passes. None from FNB.

So what was the wine evening like?   I certainly applaud the initiative to promote green practices in South African winemaking, and was happy to sample this year’s winners, even though none seemed to reach the mix of quality and low price which I look for when buying wine.

I would have organised it differently…..

1. When we were called to sit down, the wines were not yet poured.  Instead, we waited while some patronising presenters gave us a master-class in how not to address an audience.
2. The wines were not poured in the order in which they were to be tasted, and instead of this being an efficient, enjoyable process, the speeches went on and on.  And on.  Far too much detail.  And I do know what a spit bucket is for, and did not need to be given instructions.   Although by the end of the tasting I was very tempted to pour the contents over the organisers.
3. The attendance was terrible, with around 30-40% of the seats unoccupied.  Those there seemed to mainly be Nedbank staffers, in detention for bad behaviour. How can you give away food and wine and still fail to fill a venue?  I am baffled.
4. There was a pleasant buffet afterwards, but when I went to the bar to get a last glass of wine to wash down my cheese, I was told we had had our lot.  No more wine…   Fortunately I managed to hijack a few dregs from a kind waitress.   When my mate Norman asked for a beer, he was asked to pay for it.  And to add insult to injury, as we left we spotted a few of the immensely tedious speakers at the bar, with what appeared to be their own private cache of wine bottles.
5. I think the big problem was that Nedbank threw money into staging an event, with no clear focus of who they were aiming it at.  If their own staff, and those who do not know from which end of a bottle one extracts the cork, then that would have been fine.  But don’t invite in outsiders to a kindergarten event.

Conclusion:

Bravo to Nedbank for promoting green wine. Red card to Nedbank for showcasing it so poorly.

Tweets of the Day:

Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow): Why did Beethoven sell his chickens? Because all they said was “Bach Bach Bach” #ClassicJokeFriday

Secret Tips (@Funny_Truth): If you expect something in return for being a nice person, you aren’t a nice person.

PUNS (@omgthatspunny): Have you bought yourself a boomerang yet? I heard they’re making a comeback.

ZA Confidential is a subscription newsletter.   For subscription details or any other communication, please contact:   zaconfidential@gmail.com     Follow us on twitter: @zaconfidential

A few highlights/lowlights from today’s mini-budget, delivered in Cape Town by Finance Minister Nhlanhla Nene.

• GDP growth estimate for ZA for this year at just 1.4%, a feeble level, and down from 2.7% estimate in February.
• Minister Nene says a turning point has been reached due to the difficult economic environment.  There is pressure on the fiscus with revenue insufficient to cover our expenditure.  So he is proposing a package of fiscal measures on the revenue and expenditure sides.    This will have a mild dampening effect on growth in the short term
• So government is proposing a fiscal package to reduce the expenditure ceiling and boost tax revenue over the next 2 years.  Savings of R22bn in 2015/16 and R30bn in 2016/17
• 2015 budget to generate extra revenue of at least R27bn over the next 2 years. It seems taxes are to rise, but no detail yet.
• Gross tax revenue for this current year has been revised down by R10bn, due to underperformance on corporate income tax, customs duties, VAT and the fuel levy – and downside risks remain.
• Government consumption spending to be moderated, and more public-private sector partnership is to be encouraged
• There will be cuts in government communication, staff freezes, spending on consultants, and expenditure on venues and catering
• Government recognises the need to shore up the balance sheets of the parastatals, but this will be funded through the sale of property, direct and indirect shareholdings in listed firms, non-strategic government shareholdings in state-owned companies and surplus cash balances in public entities.
• Private investment in parastatals will also be explored.  More detail by the Feb budget
• For Eskom in particular, borrowing of R250bn over the next 5 years, supported by existing guarantees from government. At least R20bn will be raised to support Eskom through the sale of state assets.  An existing R60bm government loan could be partly converted into equity.  There will be more focus on cogeneration.
• If public sector wage increases outpace inflation, government is warning  they will trigger a cut in social spending, or capital budgets or cuts in staff numbers

Tweets of the Day:

Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow):  It’s National Pasta Day and #ClassicJokeFriday! Anyone know any good pasta jokes? A penne for your thoughts.

ZA Confidential is a subscription newsletter.   For subscription details or any other communication, please contact:    zaconfidential@gmail.com     Follow us on twitter:  @zaconfidential

I may sound ungrateful, but that is a risk I will just have to take.  Absa very kindly invited me to the recent Absa Champagne Festival at Summer Place in Johannesburg. It was a lavish affair, with delicious nibbles and table after table of French bubbly. The tasting samples were a bit stingy, with a hell of a lot more air than champagne in each glass, but as you could taste dozens of different champagnes, it was quite possible for guests to still get quite sloshed if they wanted. Personally, once the MC for the evening started bubbling uncontrollably, trotting out stale quotations about champagne, I headed out the door, to enjoy a glass of South African red.

And that is my concern. At this champagne festival, sponsored by a South Africanish bank, the main attractions were the bottles of champagne. No local and lekker Cape bubbly.  Both my chum Malcolm and I reached this conclusion independently, so either we are both paranoid or we have a point…?

Of course, this is not the first time SA has lost out to the French. The fact that we are not allowed to use the word ‘champagne’ to describe local sparking wine was an early concession to the land of our President’s beloved and lucrative Eiffel Tower.

I was told by one of the wine experts at the event that no Cap Classique was allowed, because it isn’t champagne. Klaar?

Now champagne is a French export and Absa is a South Africanish bank. So why is Absa promoting and sponsoring an event to promote a French export sector at the expense of the local wine industry? Does it have no local wine lovers and producers among its stakeholders? I doubt that.  Snobbish stakeholders, maybe?

I have no quarrel with people buying and drinking champagne, and am happy to do so myself, especially when I am a guest at a function and someone else is paying for the corks to go pop.

But as listeners to the Die Vine Intervention podcasts I do with the legendary Michael Olivier will know, I like and admire, worship and promote, South African wines, spirits and the absurdly named Cap Classique bubblies. It is a title foisted on the local wine industry, but you don’t hear it as often as the Parisian prats might wish. Local sparking wine is often equally as good as, and frequently better than, many champagnes. And unless you have a generous Absa overdraft facility, it is also a damm lot more affordable than the imported stuff. Particularly with our local currency drowning in the global spittoon.

So…. What about a more locally-focused SA bubbly event on the same lavish scale as the Champagne one? Surely this is an opportunity for a bank – not headed by someone who got married to a former trade minister on a wine farm in the Cape – to show its true patriotic colours. And if you are looking for an organizer or an MC, let me know. My jokes may be awful, but at least they are mainly original, and I don’t lift them all from a vintage book of crappy champers quotes.  Or gush with more enthusiasm than an over-gassed bubbly bottle as it is opened.

By coincidence, I have just received an invitation to a Cape Town event called ’The World is Your Oyster’ at which both champagne and Cape bubblies are to be served. It is sponsored by Ultra Liquors and will be held at the Waterfront. So it can be done: with local sparkling wines being showcased at a classy event. I am not sure the champagne is strictly necessary, and I would give the oysters a miss, but at least local producers will be given equal or better billing.

While on this hobby horse, I was browsing through the alarmingly premature Xmas catalogue of an Illovo bottle store, and spotted that the first several pages were devoted to another import – Scotch whisky. There were other whiskeys, but while I was glancing through the catalogue, I failed to spot the local Bain’s Cape Mountain Whisky – a personal favourite. Not saying it wasn’t there. Just couldn’t see it through my tears. On the Brandy page, the Cognacs got the best show, but there were some local brandies as well, at far better prices. Including some KWV award winners.

My own approach is simple. I will get far merrier at Christmas with a few bottles of Cape wines, whisky, brandy and absolutely fabulous local bubbly. The quality will be superb, and the savings I will make over the imported imposters will allow my (non-Absa) bank manager to sleep a lot better as the New Year austerity begins to bite.

Tweets of the Day:

Fake Dispatch (@Fake_Dispatch): “Boss? I can’t come to work today. Turns out I talked to a guy who went to high school with a girl that was on the plane with Ebola girl.”

Funny Tweets (@Funny_TweetsQ): Yes officer, I saw the “speed limit” sign, I just didn’t see you.

ZA Confidential is a subscription newsletter.   For subscription details or any other communication, please contact:   zaconfidential@gmail.com     Follow us on twitter: @zaconfidential

Ever worried that you are paying too much for vehicle components – either directly or through higher insurance premiums? Well, the news today that the Competition Commission is taking a look at the vehicle component sector may be long overdue.  At a media briefing today, Alexander Forbes Insurance’s Gary Dombo welcome the probe, saying there is merit in the Commission looking at this industry.   One reason why insurers are battling is that parts prices are so high.   Dombo said that another reason for high premiums is that around 60 percent of motor vehicles on SA roads are not insured – that’s around 8 million vehicles.   Dombo wants to see compulsory 3rd party auto insurance, but admitted that the industry can be more effective in how it lobbies government on this.  The industry has commissioned a study, to help bolster its case.

Tweets of the Day:

Male Thoughts (@SteveStfler):  My neighbor obviously doesn’t watch porn. She asked me to come fix her sink, I been here for an hour and i’m still fixing the damn sink.

Sly (@slyoung5):  Every single day I question my sanity and every single day, it has an alibi.

Male Thoughts (@SteveStfler):       me: for christmas i want a dragon

santa: be realistic

me: ok i want girlfriend

santa: what colour do you want your dragon.

Funny Tweets (@Funny_TweetsQ):  I don’t care what people think of me… at least mosquitoes find me attractive

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